How happy are you with your child’s school year so far?
Lately it seems like many parents are worried or downright dissatisfied.
When your child is having a hard time, it’s certainly tempting to march down to the school and demand they move your child to a different teacher immediately.
Or start looking into homeschooling.
As a parent, of course that’s your right. In some cases, it makes sense. Your child’s wellbeing must be your top priority.
Parents tend to think of themselves as customers, especially when they feel they aren’t getting “good service” from a public school.
Based on my years of experience as a teacher and parent, I urge you to consider a more balanced approach.
It’s definitely the school’s job to teach: to offer instruction, resources, and extra support when needed.
And most schools work hard to make sure your child succeeds. Teachers often spend their summers taking classes and reading books. Administrators read every parent survey and analyze student data to identify areas needing improvement.
There are many stakeholders to consider, and many constraints, including time, manpower, and of course, the budget.
But schools are not businesses. Because schools can’t guarantee that your kid learns. Even the best private school can’t force your child to learn.
Ultimately, it’s your student’s responsibility to learn.
And this is where it gets tricky, because you can’t force your child to learn either.
So what can you do?
Start by thinking of yourself as a partner instead of a customer.
Be willing to share the responsibility for your child’s success by role modeling active participation.
Make it a habit to read everything that the school sends home. Keep an open mind and ask questions if you don’t understand anything. Respond to requests for help even if you can only make a small contribution.
Take the time to make sure you and your child understand their teachers’ expectations and routines.
Teach your child that education is a two-way street by encouraging them to try a few steps on their own when stuck (like checking with a friend or reading the syllabus) before asking the teacher for help.
And when problems arise, instead of going to the school with a complaint, or a demand, approach the situation with a problem solving mindset.
Get curious with yourself first.
What is this really about for you? What would you like the school to do?
Take plenty of time to re-regulate yourself and double-check your information before contacting the school.
Don’t go “right to the top” immediately. Misunderstandings happen, and sometimes an email or phone call is enough to resolve a situation.
Be willing to listen first, and focus on the outcome you want (interest-based bargaining) instead of what you think the school should do.
The vast majority of teachers and schools want to partner with you. Trust that everyone has positive intentions, be respectful and willing to listen, and stay focused on problem solving rather than confrontation.
Of course, if the situation continues, or becomes more serious, don’t hesitate to keep advocating for your child.
Questions? Thoughts? Please share!
