Are your children heading back to school soon?
School just started in my neck of the woods.
Today my younger daughter started high school. My husband had his (29th) first day of 8th grade. And I am back to my day job but also counting the minutes until I find out how their day went.
Student. Teacher. Parent. I've been going back-to-school my whole life. And I'm still not sure who it's hardest on!
So just know that I am thinking of each of you.
•The parents trying not to cry at Kindergarten drop-off,
•The older kids fervently hoping for the "nice" teacher, and
•The teachers welcoming 20, or 30, or 200 new souls into their classrooms hoping to make a positive connection with each one of them.
I'm thinking of all the tired moms and excited kids filling shopping carts to the brim with pencils, folders, and brand new sparkly pink Barbie lunch boxes.
And I'm also thinking about the kids who go back to school with hand-me-down backpacks, filled with whatever school supplies they could find around the house.
I'm thinking of all the kids jumping out of the car on the first few days of school in their brand new outfits, hoping to find their friends as soon as they get to the playground.
And the kids who are hoping that this is the year that they'll finally have friends to sit with at lunch.
Because this is an exciting, bittersweet, nerve-wracking...and frankly, complicated time of the year for families everywhere.
I hope it's going well for you, that the transition from summer to back to school is familiar and mostly smooth.
But if not, know that I'm also thinking of parents like you and their kids who struggle with school and are dreading going back.
And the families that are dealing with school anxiety and a child who refuses to go to school.
I see you. I see how hard you are all trying. I see the guilt, the worry, the loneliness, all the difficult emotions you probably never expected on the first day of school. I've been there. And I want to help.
So first, I just want to say take good care of yourself. Remember that everyone is trying their best with the skills and information they have right now. Savor the best moments, even if they are fleeting.
And as you work through the difficult moments, know that you're doing hard things. Recognize that. Even though you just want to do whatever it takes to help your child, start with yourself.
Get yourself a small treat, something you love and that makes you feel good. For me, it’s picking a few flowers in my yard, or one piece (okay probably 2 or 3) of “fancy” chocolate. Sometimes it's just a handful of chocolate chips. Even if you only have a moment (and the energy) to tell yourself, 'Good Job,” that counts.
Never underestimate the power of self-care when you are working through parenting struggles. Even if it seems counterintuitive to take care of yourself instead of your child.
Because only regulated adults can help kids re-regulate and work through big challenges. More on that soon.
